10 Things No One Told Me About Pregnancy

Here I am.. Waiting for my 2nd baby to come out.. 7 days to go and I’m about to witness God’s wonderful creation coming out of my tummy again. I was thinking- why didn’t I blog about this during my 1st pregnancy? Why just now? Then I realized that even on this 2nd pregnancy with only 2 years apart, I have experienced things that I haven’t during my 1st. I know very well that I have read multiple books and articles about pregnancy- both me and my hubby actually. Though we are aware of the weight gain, the change in the appearance due to enlarged nose and bloated face, the possibility of stretch marks, the sleepless nights and breathlessness, as some of the so-called “normality in pregnancy”- Things become very different when you experience it yourself at an intensity you could’ve not imagined. So let me share with you some experiences that I have encountered during this new chapter in my life that are both exciting and scary. :)

1. Pregnancy Acne

When I gave birth to my first born, the first thing I did after losing weight was going back to my dermatologist. I was very happy with the result until I got pregnant again. Oiliness and acne can destroy your mood on a daily basis and can literally result to stress, especially on a job like mine, where I meet up with clients and attend a lot of conferences. So I try to google if this is normal as I have never experienced this during my first pregnancy.

FACT: They said that most pregnant women experience acne as the higher levels of hormones called Androgens prompt the sebaceous glands in the skin to produce sebum (causing oiliness). The bigger sebaceous glands and the excessive production of this sebum when combined with our skin cells, blocks our pores that creates a ground for bacteria to multiply. Thus, the inflamed skin erupts and produces acne.

SOLUTION: Aside from weeping and blaming hubby for my pregnancy (joke!), I just dealt with it with my normal routine. I didn’t see any abrupt change on the first 5-6 months but I am pretty sure that I am doing the right thing. I avoided most of my dermatologist’s solutions since most of the chemicals in it posted big risks to my baby’s development (ohhh.. the sacrifices of a mother). Thus, I just maintain the usual Cetaphil face wash and moisturizer (it should be oil-free) and I have also continued using my usual make-up products such as foundation, concealer, bronzer, blush-on, highlighter, and lipstick. Day-by-day was a horror but trust me, once the hormones subside and as long as you keep your face clean and you drink plenty of water to keep yourself hydrated, then it will naturally go away.

2. Warts and Varicose Veins Appearance

So this is another revelation that caught me off-guard on this second pregnancy. I got shocked when I saw the appearance of warts on my neck area (about 4-5 very very small thingy) and varicose veins on my legs. So worried that I may not be able to wear shorts or skirts again, I checked out if this is normal and if there is anything that I can do to take these out immediately.

FACT: Warts are usually genetic and it may appear during pregnancy due to change in hormones. Varicose veins (purple or blue) may appear during pregnancy due to the weight that you have gained overtime that causes pressure on your legs. As the amount of blood in your body increases, it adds burden on your veins. Standing for a long period of time can also make you more susceptible to varicose veins.

SOLUTION: Honestly, none. I am not doing anything with these for now. But I am planning to see my dermatologist after I give birth. For now, I just avoided standing for a long period of time, wearing heels, and I walk a little bit to regulate the blood vessels in my legs and maintain a normal blood flow all over my body. I read that after birth, varicose veins are most likely to subside too. Warts, on the other hand, are easy to deal with. There are over-the-counter solutions that you can DIY to take those out. I just wanted to ensure that I’d seek professional help as the appearance of those are on my neck (near to the face) that can cause visible scar if not dealt with well. So moms out there, let us just keep the faith alive and sacrifice this 9- month of ugliness for a lifetime of happiness in carrying, nurturing, and rearing a son or a daughter.

3. Ear Itch/Ear Infection during Pregnancy

Ok.. so no doctor said that this is pregnancy-related, I swear. I never thought so too, not until I googled it and saw that multiple pregnant women all over the world experience the same thing that I was going through. Honestly, this was the most terrible pain I have ever felt in my entire pregnancy. Much worse than contractions! What happened was- there is haze in Singapore.. a terrible and a long one.. I was on my 35 weeks of pregnancy and I got allergic to it that caused me flu and cough. Ear Itch, for me, can be pretty normal even when I wasn’t pregnant. The doctor told me that too much cotton buds contact inside my ear can cause this to get dry and to itch. Thus, I wasn’t so surprised when it happened to me at this stage. The usual-stubborn thing I did was to get a cotton bud and once again, try to clear my ears to ensure it won’t itch. I know it was a terrible itch, so apart from cleaning the left ear, I know I created a friction inside. I slept and after 2 hours (1am), I felt the terrible pain inside my left ear that I couldn’t bear it, that’s why hubby rushed me to the hospital. I first went to KKH (Women’s and Children’s clinic) but they said that I should go to Tan Tok Seng instead, as ear infection is not their specialization. So I had to transfer to TTS at about 2am. After an hour, I was seen by a GP and told me that she saw that my ear was inflamed  but because it was too painful she recommended that I see an EENT doctor to ensure that findings are more precise and accurate. To ease the pain, she gave me paracetamol (2 tablets 3x a day) and CILOXAN (Ciplrofloxacin) good for both eyes and ears (2 drops of the solution to the affected ear, 3x a day). I honestly do not want to drug my princess but I have no choice because the pain is terrible and I was getting more stressed out due to lack of sleep and heavy weeping. I was able to rest after I took my medications and have decided to see the EENT doctor the next day. They checked my ear and recommended that I take antibiotics. So the stubborn mom who refused to further drug the baby didn’t follow the medication. I had a follow-up check- up and the reason why I didn’t cancel the appointment is because the left ear was really blocked and I was having an extreme migraine on the left side of my head. I can hear something but not totally clear. So Doc Natalie of EENT-TTS checked my ear and she found out that my ear was very clean and no longer inflamed but she’d like to understand why I was having a blocked ear. So she did a scan by inserting a tube inside my nose. Initially, I refuse the spray to make my nose numb so the tube can enter with less pain. I tried it without any drug on but I couldn’t bear the pain. Thus, I decided to take the spray. It went inside and she said that due to the flu I have, the mucus is affecting the nose and ear portion that is causing the blocked ear. Thus, she recommended that I take and finish the course of anti-biotics. She guaranteed that it is safe for my baby. And she also diagnosed that I wash and clean my sinus using FLO SINUS CARE KIT. I did those and I was so happy that the terrible migraine pain’s gone after 2 days but the blocked ear has subsided but not completely as of yet.

FACT: It is ok to clean the ears with cotton buds but we shouldn’t put it inside the ear that can irritate the skin and other parts of the lobe. We can clean the outer-visible part of the ear about 3x a week but the inside, we should not dig deep too much to avoid any dryness that can cause ear itch or ear infection.

SOLUTION: Always, always, always seek professional help. An EENT exists because they know exactly what to do. Although we really do not want to drug the baby, think of it as a less stressful way of taking care of the baby inside us by following the medications that the experts advise us to do. So our body can produce happy hormones that can be healthier for our baby. Avoid getting so much stress with unnecessary pain. When the mom is stressed, then so as the baby. So let us protect our bodies, thoughts, and emotions so the baby can be more secured and stress-free.

4. Minor Bleeding during the first trimester

So this episode freaks me out, right? I knew I was pregnant so why the hell am I bleeding. Not too much but I saw 2x4 inches blood-wide on my underwear. It is not continuous but I just happen to see when I went to the restroom after my meeting. I recalled, I was on my 8th-10th week of pregnancy. “Is it because of stress? Or probably because I was wearing heels?” So I try to be the Ms. DIY and see if other moms out there experience the same thing.

FACT: “Spotting” or the light discharge of blood is common during the first trimester. It is usually lighter in flow than a menstrual period and the color varies from red to brown. It can be caused by Implantation bleeding when the fertilized egg implants in our uterus. Some causes can be a cervical polyp that can exist due to an increased number of blood vessels in the tissue around the cervix during pregnancy or it can also post a serious complication such as ectopic pregnancy (fertilized egg attaches itself in a place other than inside the uterus).

SOLUTION: Though it exists and 20% of the pregnant women usually experience this, we should not take this too lightly. Consult your doctor if this happens continuously and/or if it happens multiple times. As for me, since the bleeding stopped and it was few and it never recurred, I honestly prayed very hard that nothing serious shall happen to my baby. After 3 weeks, my scheduled appointment came and I told my OB about it. He checked the heartbeat of my baby and he said it was strong. So thank God, nothing bad happened to my princess.

5. Pre-Natal and Post-Natal Massage are both Ok to have

Growing up in a province has molded by mind not to entertain any pinch or any type of massage as it can cause early contractions or miscarriage. So during my 1st pregnancy, I never had any massage and was so afraid to have one. After I gave birth to my son, hubby and I decided to go to a spa and they refused to give me a massage as they’ve mentioned that they can only do so after 6-months post-operation/ birth. So I believed them.. Then this second baby came.. I was in a lot of stress and unbearable back pain. I couldn’t help it and googled if I can have pre-natal massage and this is what I found out:

FACT: Yes, you can have one or even both. But it should be done by a professional, trained, and experienced Pre-natal masseuse. Every pregnant woman deserves to be pampered after all; pregnancy is really hard to deal with especially with the change in our bodies prepping us to carry a baby inside our womb.

Pre Natal Massage reduces stress level and fatigue, reduces back/hip pain, and improves digestion and blood circulation. It also reduces the swelling of feet and ankles and it improves skin elasticity reducing the risk of stretchmarks. In Singapore, there are multiple sites you can visit to do so: www.mummybabycare.com.sg , http://www.babiesbellies.sg/Prenatal.php

Rates range from SGD60-SGD300++ depending on the kind of package you want to take.

Post Natal massage, on the other hand, provides ease for muscle tension, relief from stress, it also eliminates excess body fluids/water retention, it improves sleep and it reinstates uterus to its original size. Rates range from the same amount as Pre-Natal (SGD60-SGD300 depending on the package). Both websites above offer Post-Natal massages too.

In case that you’d like to explore SPA & SAUNA in a usual SPA Salon without the POST-NATAL branded massage, please consult your doctor after 4-6 weeks of delivery so he/she can assess if your body is ready to take the heat of the sauna and the stroke of the usual/normal massage.

SOLUTION: All Moms-to-be and mommies world-wide deserve all the pampering that we can get. Almost a year of painstaking that no man would understand (and I think, no man can bear..hahhaa) is not a joke.  Although having a baby is extremely the happiest moment in your family life, the truth is- carrying one and having one is not a joke and it is not easy. Prepare yourself- body, mind, and spirit in taking this journey. Anything that will ease your pain, anything that will not make you regret, and anything that will make this episode in your life bearable and enjoyable (of course with doc’s approval)- Go! Please take it. After all, this is the essence of being a woman- being a happy and a beautiful mother. :)

6. SALON TIME: Hair Color and Nail Polish are allowed during pregnancy

During my 1st pregnancy I never took any of these in my fear of posting big risks to my baby. Besides the smell of it is really intolerable so I opt out in doing so. I therefore conclude that my 9-month journey during my 1st experience made me the ugliest pregnant alive. Hahaha..

Due to the nature of work I do, I have to look presentable all the time, I started to ask questions to my OB and have also done a few research about Salon time.

FACT: Hair color has minimal risk to the baby but no hair color during the entire pregnancy, of course, has no risk at all. This is what my OB told me. He mentioned that during the 1st trimester, baby is developing so it is very crucial to avoid any harmful substances and ingredients that may cause risk to the baby’s health. Although research shows that semi and permanent hair dyes are safe for the babies and have less likelihood to be absorbed by the skin, it is much better to wait for 2nd trimester to do so as the developing baby is less vulnerable at this time. Nail polish on the other hand is not absorbed into the skin. The smell of it can be bothering to the mom so suggest that you wear a mask or do this in a well-ventilated area while is it being put on as anything that can bother you may bother the baby too. Dying of eyebrows and eyelashes are something that the doctors and the articles I have read really stressed on NOT doing. This can cause infection to the eyes that can be a risk for the baby.

SOLUTION: I personally had both of these but have never done any hair straightening or perming while I am pregnant. What I did was to do hair cellophane to change the color of my hair from blonde to black as I do not want to go through it twice within 9 months.

Do these if you are comfortable. If not, then just don’t.

7. Frequent and Uncontrollable Urination during Pregnancy

So I know about the endless restroom moments where you spend most of your time to pee than to sleep.. this I know since I was pregnant on my first baby.. but the uncontrollable part happens on the second pregnancy. When I sneeze, when I cough, pee comes out. As gross as it is and as much as I don’t want to share with you, I want to let you know that if you experience this funny and irritating moment, you are not alone, my friend. :)

FACT: Frequent urination happens due to the hormonal changes that your body experience. It increases urine production as your uterus expands and it presses your bladder. They said that this happens so much during the 1st and 3rd trimester. But the 2nd trimester would be a relief. Honestly, it wasn’t the same in my case. The frequency increases as the days go by. As the baby drop lower in my pelvis in preparation for the delivery, it puts more pressure on my bladder that even sneezing, coughing, and lifting something, causes me to leak a little urine.

SOLUTION: I was advised to reduce my intake of fluids from 4pm onwards but I needed to make sure that before that timeframe, I was able to take 6-8 glasses of water. I have also avoided any caffeinated beverage that can dry me up and cause me to pee more and more. In my case, the 4pm liquid cut-back didn’t work out. I feel so dehydrated and am having minor contractions if I don’t take liquids. Thus, I just have to bear with the more-pee-lesser-sleep episodes in the entire duration of my pregnancy. After all, the sacrifice will be worth it once you see your munchkin all happy and smiling.

8. Increase in Sex Drive during Pregnancy

So please don’t judge me or the other moms-to-be out there. No one wishes for this to happen, except the fathers. Lol. Seriously, I have noticed this already during my first pregnancy but ignored the drive and the existence of the urge, not until it happened to me again on this 2nd pregnancy so I have to check if this is really normal or it is just me. LOL.

FACT: Most women experience increase in sex drive due to the hormonal changes- increase in estrogen and progesterone- that happen during pregnancy. These sex hormones increase blood flow to the pelvic area and the amount of lubrication down below. Breasts also become more sensitive so your drive to make love could be fired up to the highest intensity and frequency.

SOLUTION: I was informed that during the first trimester, sex is not allowed. That saddens me and my hubby since the drive is actually higher during this time than in any pregnancy stage. The drive subsided on my 2nd trimester and went back on my 3rd.   Quick advice is- find a position that will not compromise your tummy, sense of balance, and protection. Make sure that hubby knows that he needs to take extra caution to avoid bleeding as you enjoy this moment together.

9. Constipation during Pregnancy

Ok, so this is another topic that most women would try to avoid to share. But hey, this is part of growing a baby inside us and I’d say another sacrifice that mothers take to bring a baby out of this world. I have experienced the worst of this problem during my 1st pregnancy (during the 3rd trimester actually) and on my 2nd pregnancy during the 1st trimester.

FACT: More than 50% of pregnant women experience Constipation. This is caused by the hormone- progesterone that helps to relax the muscle including the one in your digestive tract. This causes the food pass-through to slow down. As the baby grows, the pressure on your rectum continues so the constipation problem compounds each day.

SOLUTION: On my 1st pregnancy, I had no choice but to take the pain of constipation and waited for the day of my delivery to ask for drug-assisted method to clean my digestive tract. But on this 2nd pregnancy, since it happened during the 1st trimester, I immediately shared this with my OB and he has given me some medications and cure for my rectum in case it becomes inflamed. I honestly, never took any and instead, I opted for the natural methods. I increase my intake of fiber- Nesvita in Fairprice, Oatmeal in the morning, 3 servings of fruits per day (apples and oranges for me), and increase in water intake. Although these methods might have been heard many times and may sound like cliché to solve the constipation issue, it really works best for me and at this time- on my 3rd trimester- I barely experience the difficult part of constipation and the pain that comes with it, anymore. I wouldn’t deny and say that there was no effort when I get it out, there is still. But there is no pain and no inflammation as what I have experienced on my 1st pregnancy. So, God’s nature is still the best cure, I conclude.

10. No two pregnancies are the same

This is a FACT.

I thought that having a second child will put me in a better position as I had my first already. I thought that it will be easier this time since I had my experience and I was confident that I took the worst already. Hahaha.. But I was so wrong. It was more of a 60%-40% where 60% is different and 40% is the same. All the things mentioned herein posted the similarities and the differences in the intensity and frequency of the things I've been through (and going through as of writing..). The throwing up was excessive this time. I literally have to vomit inside my Louis Vuitton bag to save my face from messing up inside a train (really gross). How can I possibly throw an LV bag right? So I got to have it professionally cleaned and paid SGD200 to save the bag. I cry unstoppably at night due to the extreme pain at my back and pelvis and the most painful leg cramps/RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome). All these I never experienced with my first.

The SOLUTION is.

Pray, pray, pray.. that God gives you strength to take all the punches of this experience and to lighten the load for you. I don’t mean to sound spiritual here but this is the first thing that always pops into my head whenever I feel discomfort. No doctor can answer the phone immediately and magically remove the pain or discomfort you’re feeling right on spot. The only thing left for you is to pray to your Creator who knows the tiniest bone and vein in your body that can soothe and calm you. Next is- you’d need the support of your husband. Sometimes, even if they won’t do anything; but by simply having them by your side, holding you and calming you and letting you feel that they are with you in this journey, helps a lot to ease the pain. My hubby (sometimes voluntarily or forcefully, hahaha) massages my legs and back to make me feel better almost every night. And I am just thankful that I have him to go through this with me as the journey is never easy. He wouldn’t and can’t understand even though he’d say “I understand the pain you’re going through”, but honestly, only mom knows what it really feels like. Have a good support system that begins with your husband. Talk to him and send him articles about pregnancy so he won’t be shocked with the changes on your body and with your moods. Both of you should be prepared to take this journey side-by-side. After all, the start of parenthood begins at pregnancy and not after the child is born. The 9-month journey happens for a reason. And that is to make you both prepared to exercise patience, selflessness, and love.. the purest love of all. Learn to share it with one another first so you can freely share the super abounding feeling to your little ones.

All the best to your pregnancy, mommies!