2010: Change of Presidents: A- must read article

I know... right? It's been a long time and I miss you all! In my oh-so-super-busy schedule where I can no longer open my YM and other networking-stress relief tools, I found 1 email that really made me stop for a while to read and digest words of wisdom. Honestly, I was moved. I don't know. I have never voted all my legal-aged life. Swear! I never intend to. I'm so busy working but this made me realize one thing: "What if there are 100,000 Filipinos who think like I did? What if this 100,000 Filipinos can make a change? Is this article (below) true enough? We would never know. But one thing that I'm sure of: If we align our intentions to good will, success and integrity, Filipinos can make a change. Feel free to read the article. I highlighted some statements that really struck me. This might move you big time, too. Miss you all! 

2010: CHANGE OF PRESIDENTS

OR CHANGE OF HEARTS?

By Detch Nonan-Mercado

The funny thing is, some Filipinos are able to believe that changing presidents is all we need to be given a shot at a better life but truth be told, change in leadership does not guarantee change in the calamitous situation of our nation. A new president does not necessarily equal new national breakthroughs. What guarantees change is change of hearts.

Iggy Villanueva- A Lasallian needs help

I was watching TFC, Rated K to be exact. My heart melted when I saw Mrs. Beng Villanueva's interview about his young son named Iggy. Iggy was diagnosed with Accute Myelogeneous Leukemia last January 6, 2009 and from that date he only have 4 months to live if untreated. Jay, my ex-bf-now-hubby, and I went to google to read Mrs. Villanueva's email right away. We were really moved.. as a Christian.. and as for me- as a Lasallian and as a woman who desires to be a mother... prayerful of having a son soon.. is writing and hoping that God may touch the reader's heart to share for a brother who's in need of God's blessings.. The Sacrament of giving doesn't pertain to the amount but to the joy of one's heart, who freely allow God to move and bless other people through their lives and resources. Please read it with me one more time..

20 January 2009

OUR DEAREST FRIENDS…

I am so embarrassed to do this yet, I am humbling myself to ask,please read on..

January 6, 2009 was the worst day of my family’s life,our eldest son, IAN GABRIEL PICART VILLANUEVA, was initially diagnosed to have ACUTE MYELOGENEOUS LEUKEMIA. It is already the 20th of January, and after a 2nd and even a 3rd opinion from different doctors, the diagnosis, sadly is still the same: ACUTE MYELOGENEOUS LEUKEMIA. To aggravate things even, he even has pneumonia. Thus, chemotherapy cannot start just yet. Untreated, he just has 4 months to live…

Why TRG? Why not!

It all started with this message...

hi loran, i am very much amazed and touched by your blogs!! very well said..while im reading those blogs, i cant help figure out where the hell did those come from..you really have a big mind and a big heart..i miss your words, kindness,etc..no wonder u are successful at your age..u will be surprise to know that they are really interested in reading all your blogs..janet olasiman started it and all of a sudden, evrybody's ended up reading it as well..so inspiring..

ms. lorraine, miss n kita, sobra!! take care always and congratulations po pla!!!

all the best...

donna

My TRG family had always been dear to my heart. Would you believe if I say that I just stayed there for less than 6 months but my experiences with TRG had been one of the best moments in my life. A week has never passed without me sharing some funny things about my life back there. I'm sure Jay's ears have already bled by now. It was a good timing that I am thinking of what to share with you guys. When I checked on my friendster account, this was what I saw. It inspired me more to write.

Q & A of my SG wedding

My friends had sent me messages in FB, FS, in my 2 blogs, asking me various questions as they were so surprised when I finally said “yes” to getting married. Here are some:

What's with the rush?

It was not really a rush. We planned this, November 2008. There are a lot of times that I almost backed out since I felt that marriage can block all my dreams for myself and that I might ended up being someone else's wife instead of taking care of my own life. Jay has been very supportive and so am I with him. I guess, we've already passed that insecurity stage. We're now better off to see each other as partners- may it be in business or in cuddling future kids.

Are you pregnant?

I am not pregnant, yet. We are planning to have kids, hopefully when I reach 28; better yet, in HIS perfect time. Having a baby is what every woman should desire. I have always denied that fact for a lot of years. I have never seen myself writing all these when I was 23, but I guess, when you know you're with someone God-given and God blessed then every thing is so worthwhile. Getting into a married life isn't obligatory.. it shouldn't be. Being married is a legal and spiritual responsibility. Yet, directing yourself to the path of obligations can make one a good provider..not a good partner. A good partner requires sensitivity to one another's feelings and moods. It also requires love and respect.

Are you really happy?

Of course I am.. I am very happy. After all, we're heading towards getting married and spending forever with one another, why take sacrifices in waiting instead of taking the pains that marriage trials can offer..together? I'm not saying that couples should splurge in the marriage pool right away.. what I'm saying is-- if you know what you want and you've already validated the feelings- mad or sad, happy or cranky, then I guess, diving into that decision will really give you the best picture of happiness and contentment.

What made you said “Yes”?

He has always been so persistent to open up his wedding desires with me ever since we've been going out on a date last 2007. Yeah, it was so funny. We've just been going out for 4 months and he wanted to marry me na. OA di ba?! He's 3 years older than me, so I guess, with all his worldly experiences he already knew what he really wants forever. As for me, my relationship with him is not my best.. I can say, our fights were the worst. But you know what, love can be tested pala when you've seen one another at the worst outfits, faces, and attitudes and even if you'd like to kill one another, you ended up kissing and making up. That even if everything gets worst.. in the middle of a fight.. you can still laugh when someone farts (ewww..). Then in every slam of the doors, in every tear we shed, in every time I cried my heart out, I find my definition of LOVE with him- selfless, passionate, sacrifice, adjustment, understanding, respect.

What's with him?

Jay's the type of guy who'll give you what he ever wanted, who'll sacrifice outside the tent for me to sleep comfortably, who'll wake up in the middle of the night to check if my blanket's fine, who'll cook for me every morning while I'm doing my make up. He's also the type of guy, who'll make me learn sports and cooking- 2 things I hate doing several years back. He's the type of guy, who'll shut up when I'm mad, who'll hug me when I'm cranky, who'll listen to me when everyone wants to sleep na, who's interested even in the little details of my life. He's my comfort, my strength, my hubby.

What has changed?

I become unbelievably happier. I began to be more loving..more show-y with my emotions, more understanding and sweet, I believe. I became more caring with myself and with him. I dress up sexier and more gorgeous. I take care of my health and my food intake. This is no longer for me anymore.. this chapter's about us. I have to be healthy for our future family. I have to be pretty since I represent myself as his wife now. Everything, I happily do for him.. for myself.. for our future family.

I dream a dream

In my hollow sleep, I dreamt of wearing white.. a backless dress as white as snow, with my hair fixed and my face completely- Estee Lauder colored. 

There was also a pair of silver shoes complementing the white dress's diamond-brooch. I saw rings.. 2 rings 18k and 5g yellow and white gold combination.. those were really fantastic and shockingly expensive.

I also saw a suit worn by my a man. His face was blurd, but I noticed that he was wearing a purple tie.

On the other side of the bed, I saw a cute bouquet of flowers, beautifully arranged..all in accordance with my favorite colors (pink and purple). I also saw my Louis Vuitton on top of our TV table, with all my make up inside it. 

I also dreamt of Tita Detch and Tito Ferdy. Oh! Tito Ferdy was on leave, I guess. ROM was the venue, a Christian lady led the ceremony. After her declaration, I heard her say “God bless you”. I was surprised. I thought she was a buddhist, as most Chinese are. I dreamt of myself putting a ring on his and him putting another 10cm ring on mine. 

I saw how happy we were. I saw how satisfied and blessed my face was. 

I saw a Thai resto, with a long table filled with food we love to eat. Pastor Henry was there. I saw Jonathan taking our pix, too. Ate Donna was laughing with me. Came night time. I saw Kat, Katrina, Marlina, and Simon. I saw the man's friends and my church mates. They splured a party for us. They cooked Filipino dishes. The hall was amazing. It was classy. I saw myself crying, thereafter. My heart filled with joy and overwhelming blessings. I saw the man thanking everyone for their time and efforts. Then, I saw myself crying and declaring how thankful I am and how I felt God's love through the lives of the people in front me that time. 

Gifts were amazing! I was so speechless. I dreamt of going home really tired.. I also dreamt of wanting to write everything in this blog, but I was so restless that I fell asleep even in my dream.

When I woke up..morning of January 21, 2009, I saw myself.. wearing the ring and I saw the other side of the bed with a purple tie on it. Jay greeted me that morning... he said.. “Good morning, Mrs. Gonzales”. 

Belated Happy 69th Birthday ex-Gov. Leviste

It really broke my heart when I saw the news that he celebrated his 69^th birthday in Makati City Jail. Just thinking about Papa.. imagining his face inside a cell's really killing me. I believe that justice needs to be served and I would also want to believe that after 2 years of scrutiny the result was already authenticated. Some reasons why I find this case so desolating and down-hearted:

• That they were good friends and that their families were, too.

• Leviste was a good guy until the homicide happened.

• He's too old to be imprisoned.

• I believed that it was a burst of emotion and the incident was not planned.

• That, I also believe that it was an accident.

• That, may it be whatever, someone needs to be accountable to his actions and responses.

Delas Alas' daughter was interviewed right after Leviste was convicted. She said that they can't totally celebrate because they were also thinking about Leviste's family and that she looked up to the ex-governor as her second dad. I admired her mentality..really. For someone who lost her father in a monstrous incident and she was able to look at the outcome that way is truly admirable.

I was asking myself while watching, “If she really felt that way, then why did she still persue the case?" Then my logic dictated, “Of course, she's the daughter of her father who was shot five times; whereas one shot was more than enough to immobilize a 67-year old man.” She needs to continue the fight for his father's death situation. She needed justice to prevail for her father's name which was also defamed when the story of self-defense for 1-million mistress maintenance was brought up during the cross examination.

A spectator thiking outloud: “If it was Leviste who got killed `by delas Alas, would his kids react the same way as Dinna Sanchez (daughter of Rafael delas Alas) did? Would they allow the murder case to be homicide, too? Would the court allow the same to happen?”

I was really affected. I have a soft spot for old people. Though, I would all the more hate the justice system in the Philippines if it wasn't given to the delas Alas family. I also feel for the Leviste family. His kids were really so much affected, I know. Just imagine, even how straight you've wanted to become: Seeing your 69-year old father, to whom you really looked up so much..spending the rest of his remaining years in the prison instead of enjoying the goodness of gracious retirement and righteous life.. Can you still say that justice be given to worthy? Can you still say that if your father really killed someone, he be placed in jail? Can you still say that he deserved to be there?

I'll just pray that ex-governor Leviste be pardoned by the highest court where he'll soon be at. I pray that he gets comfort and that he may still feel that God loves him regardless of what happened and what he has done. I pray that delas Alas family may find forgiveness in their hearts. I pray that we all be open-minded about situations like this. 

So ayun na nga...

Yeah.. I'm back! Wheew.. I was like entrapped inside a bottle with the strictest genie ever.. Better yet, comparable to a little girl who was asked by mom to sit in one corner and to never leave yet. OMG! It was a toxic week but I love it. Know what, the most tiring thing to do pala is to put pressure on yourself than your boss putting pressure on you. Really.. it stressed the hell out of me. When you're new kasi you tend to show them that it was the most right decision- that they've hired you.. I have to admit I feel so tired at the end of each day this week, but I feel so relieved. Ironic, right? I mean, I was able to figure out how to untie the loops in my new job.

Enough of the job.. Just miss bloggin'! Well, sorry.. can't stop talaga! I brought home some assignments. I assigned myself to do reveiews and strategic business portfolio this weekend so as to get geared up for next week. Really..enough na swear!

Mommy (she's my dad's sister- I usually call her ninang mommy) called me the other day nga pala. She was crying.. she misses us.. she misses my newphew, PJ. She's currently in Paris and she perceived snow to be boredom and lonesome. That was actually the first time I heard her whine.. the first time I heard her cry. She's a very strong woman. She's my idol talaga since she had a fast-tracked career. Living abroad naman talaga is not easy. We just need to find our purpose, because searching for God's reason would give us a better direction to get closer to Him. If you feel comfortable in where you are right now, just stay and find a better niche at home. Just be a curious kid finding a better position to sleep in a small nipa hut with 12 siblings. Find your competitive advantage, instead of finding a country to dump your luggage. It doesn't mean that you didn't take risks or you didn't get out of your comfort zone. In the first place, you don't need to gamble or to find uneasy zone in this kind of game if you feel stability and satisfaction. After all, what greatly matters is where you find peace and happiness. The place where your heart is, is the place where you'll survive. I find my heart beating loudly everyday.. and in tracing its sound.. its echo transmits my entirety back to where his heart shouts my name. :) I hope you've followed the echo of your heart, too.. 

Ti'' the next bloggin'! 

Why Guys like Girls..

I saw this article in one of my friend's facebook and I really fell in love with how this guy sees little and specific details about girls. Heart-warming as it is, better check this out!

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo


2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder


3. How cute they look when they sleep


4. The ease in which they fit into our arms


5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world


6. How cute they are when they eat


7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while


8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside


9. The way they look good no matter what they wear


10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth


11. How cute they are when they argue


12. The way her hand always finds yours


13. The way they smile


14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just had a big fight


15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....


16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them


17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"


18. Actually ...just the way they kiss you...


19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry


20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something silly


21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt


22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!


23. The way they say "I miss you"


24. The way you miss them


25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them,hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not.Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you.


When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
Taken from http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=60043282272&ref=nf

As we're described as fishing for compliments, I did my own and caught big ones! (hehehe) I talked to him and ask him what he likes about me, he said:

The way she giggles on a new found dress, shoe or bag. 
(yeah.. so me!)
The look in her face whenever she sees her man wearing a good pair of outfit. 
(i like to see him well-dressed)
The way she finds a good angle whenever she takes her photo.
 (I would say all girls have this talent)
The way she slaps my face whenever I didn't intentionally look at sexy girls.
 (he lies when he denied it, I swear!)
The way she calls me like a mom with her long Pssssssttttttttttt.... and I came to her like a dirty young boy. (hahahaha.. my mom usually does this. Sorry..hereditary!)
The ways she does blogging and when I ask her to cook, she'll get mad and ask me to stop calling her since she's doing something important. (addicted to blogging..lol)

Astray

A young girl strayed from home. With all her things packed up she came running towards a young man. He was waiting under the bamboo tree..nervous.. agitated.. He's thinking of tomorrow, he's jealous of yesterday...he's worrying about today. They left the world of complexity.. until it turned out to be simplicity.. duality..familiarity.. disparity..difficulty! They almost lost humility, esteem, respect.. almost lost love.

After a couple of years: “Will you marry me?”, the guy uttered. Silently the wind blows.. The girl got drowned.. she was drowned into tears that she can no longer breathe to speak up. What happened?

She recalled the memories of their breaking dawn. They were happy together. They were friends to one another. As they get closer day by day, differences splurged overwhelmingly. Shocked. Cold. They fight..everyday.. they condemned one another. They speak of no respect to each other. They lost themselves to see who wins and who loses. They doomed their relationship to check on who surrenders first.

“Will love exist without respect?”, she asked herself. Yes it'll because love can stand alone. But, “Can a relationship last forever without respect?”, she re-thought. No, it won't because respect must be shown for humans to live harmoniously in love.

She doesn't mean to offend the young man. She still doesn't want to be committed forever because she feels that both of them should get riped. Both of them should build branches together. Both of them should only anchor to HIM and to one another.

“Can't these be done after marriage? Can't a fruit be ripe after you take it out from its branch?”, he asked.

“Yes, a fruit can be riped after you take it out from its branch. Yet, wouldn't it be more delicious to let the fruit undergo its natural process of ripening? Couldn't we be more prepared as we wait for the fruit to take its natural course before picking it out from its branch? Couldn't we do more as we splurge into the fun of waiting?”, she responded.

“Can't you think of love at its best, instead of considering the relationship at its worst?”, he asked.

“Loving you is the best feeling I had ever encountered in my entire life. That I thought my love can be more than what you can bear to battle with yourself and your weaknesses. That I thought my love can be the ultimate reason for you to seek and demonstrate the best of yourself. That I thought your love can be the best source of my strength. That I thought your love can make me reign the world... Everything I thought turned into doom when we roar like lions.. when we took off one another's esteem.” , she responded..weeping.

Dear, let's get ourselves back in the game we call our own. Let's give back what we've lost when we stole pride, glory and respect from one another. Let's find time to think of forever as we begin to 'till the soil of tomorrow. Let's spend moments together as we know the brand-new us, better. Let's together dig deeper understanding. Let's together find the river of wisdom. Let's together cultivate abundance and prosperity. Let's together find a better position for one another.. not through marriage.. but through RESPECT. - A letter... when she decided to leave and drift..alone..for the mean time...

Label or Love?

pix taken from: www.stevekaufmanart.com

I miss working. Well, for me work means 16 hours..lol..that's what I was used to. I recalled some pictures of my weekends where I was just in my condo, doing movie-marathon (remember the 12-1 thing in Makati Cinema square..tsk..tsk.. illegal..), with my laptop in front of me.. typing while watching..conceptualizing while laughing.. I mean, I never find it stressful. I really even enjoyed it! Well, I need to compensate for TRG's generosity (right Mykee?).

As I am preparing for work again, I have been reading articles about business and economy so as to prepare myself in facing the head honchos again. I suddenly felt sad. I recalled my days when I was back in the Philippines. I never spent that much time talking to Jay over the phone when we were apart. I was too busy working. Everytime he calls me, I was inside the meeting room or I'm presenting something in front of the team leaders. There were even times that he just hang on while I'm talking and was just so proud of me every after the meeting. Sometimes, he would just listen on how I do my debates or how I implement policies and would sleep with me talking about a job that's not even his! For him, just by listening to my voice, he already felt at home..Ahhh...(melting).. He has been ever supportive all along.

So when I flew out for Singapore, I decided to spend more time with him. I have studied how to cook, how to prepare his clothes and things, how to fix the bed and all that household stuffs. I mean, I really would like him to feel being taken cared of. He lost a lot of weight kasi when he was alone eh. So I'd like him to gain and build muscles, ordered some meds from Belo and shopped trendy-professional outfits for him. Bumawi ako, in short! Now, he looks better and he looks happy (swerte ni pogi ah!).

This job is something that I have prayed for. This is what I want to be..where I see myself to be at. When they said I might have frequent travel accross Asia, I was like “OMG, 'pano nanaman si Jay nito!”. 'Di ba it was like I have a baby na. Well, that's what he feels too eh, whenever he gets to work and I stay at home. He calls me everyday to check if I ate na. I know naman na he's happy because it's a big break.. it's my career back and more.. but he would sometimes kid and say, “Pano na 'ko magssleep when you're out of the country?” Ahhh... Baduy noh.. 1 year and 6 months na kaya kami.. Yet, I believe naman na we're already grown-ups and we also need to support one another's triumphs.

Now, I'm a bit torn between Label or Love. What is really more important to me? To have a label for my own identity.. a label of position and hierarchy..a label of levelled executive.. a label of worldly success? Or Love.. Hmmm...