Astray

A young girl strayed from home. With all her things packed up she came running towards a young man. He was waiting under the bamboo tree..nervous.. agitated.. He's thinking of tomorrow, he's jealous of yesterday...he's worrying about today. They left the world of complexity.. until it turned out to be simplicity.. duality..familiarity.. disparity..difficulty! They almost lost humility, esteem, respect.. almost lost love.

After a couple of years: “Will you marry me?”, the guy uttered. Silently the wind blows.. The girl got drowned.. she was drowned into tears that she can no longer breathe to speak up. What happened?

She recalled the memories of their breaking dawn. They were happy together. They were friends to one another. As they get closer day by day, differences splurged overwhelmingly. Shocked. Cold. They fight..everyday.. they condemned one another. They speak of no respect to each other. They lost themselves to see who wins and who loses. They doomed their relationship to check on who surrenders first.

“Will love exist without respect?”, she asked herself. Yes it'll because love can stand alone. But, “Can a relationship last forever without respect?”, she re-thought. No, it won't because respect must be shown for humans to live harmoniously in love.

She doesn't mean to offend the young man. She still doesn't want to be committed forever because she feels that both of them should get riped. Both of them should build branches together. Both of them should only anchor to HIM and to one another.

“Can't these be done after marriage? Can't a fruit be ripe after you take it out from its branch?”, he asked.

“Yes, a fruit can be riped after you take it out from its branch. Yet, wouldn't it be more delicious to let the fruit undergo its natural process of ripening? Couldn't we be more prepared as we wait for the fruit to take its natural course before picking it out from its branch? Couldn't we do more as we splurge into the fun of waiting?”, she responded.

“Can't you think of love at its best, instead of considering the relationship at its worst?”, he asked.

“Loving you is the best feeling I had ever encountered in my entire life. That I thought my love can be more than what you can bear to battle with yourself and your weaknesses. That I thought my love can be the ultimate reason for you to seek and demonstrate the best of yourself. That I thought your love can be the best source of my strength. That I thought your love can make me reign the world... Everything I thought turned into doom when we roar like lions.. when we took off one another's esteem.” , she responded..weeping.

Dear, let's get ourselves back in the game we call our own. Let's give back what we've lost when we stole pride, glory and respect from one another. Let's find time to think of forever as we begin to 'till the soil of tomorrow. Let's spend moments together as we know the brand-new us, better. Let's together dig deeper understanding. Let's together find the river of wisdom. Let's together cultivate abundance and prosperity. Let's together find a better position for one another.. not through marriage.. but through RESPECT. - A letter... when she decided to leave and drift..alone..for the mean time...

My Better friend's Wedding

Jay and I went home a week and a half ago for Ate Irene’s Wedding (Jay’s sister). I was chosen to be part of her entourage and Jay’s participation’s out of the question since he's the brother. I remembered when I was still in the Philippines, Ate Irene and I usually talk about her wedding- the preparation, some suggestions for invitation designs and the like.. and Finally, she got a corollary! She’s getting married..(well, she’s already Rahmie’s wife as of Nov. 15, 2008 by the way). It was a fun experience bonding with Jay’s family. I was able to know them well and broke my sphere for them to do the same with me. I realized a lot when I was participating in that ceremony. Preparation’s so stressful but the cermony’s just for half a day! I mean, that’s an expectation! But my realizations are:

1. Being married is an obligation but I can be single in expectation– I can get married without expecting too much. Because, as two bound individuals, maturity and security are pertinent part of an obligation. These becomes expectation when you assume that his world’s YOU and his eyes are yours.

2. Adobo can’t be a viand if you only have meat– Just the same as marriage. Marriage can’t be successful if you only have LOVE. Trust, Respect, and Commitment are important ingredients of Marriage. For me, these are not expectations, these are obligations. From the time you agreed of getting married, you know that you need to sacrifice biggest parts of yourself. You get married because you agreed in long-term consequences of the unity, which a part is submitting yourself to your partner without inducing your self-privacy.

3. Uniting with another individual in soul and in goals is a tough thing that married people can do– Imagine two people, with different breeding, perspectives, and personalities decided to unify future plans. If the bride wants her kids to speak English all the time and the hubby can’t even complete a grammatically correct statement, how do you think can this plan be implemented? Well, as for me, acceptance and understanding of differences play an important part in keeping marriage. It doesn’t mean that you have to accept that he can’t develop or would you ask your partner to change based on your own standards. It even adds spice if two people who are open-minded and eager to work things out, learn from one another’s differences and meet half-way for mutual-marital benefits.

4. Courtship should begin after Marriage ceremony– Most couples get into marriage for their sole purpose of legalizing their bond. We often hear a statement like “Di na namin kelangan ng mga ganun, kasal na naman kami”. This is one of the saddest expression and a great pretension a wife can give if someone asks her if her husband still gives her flowers and the lamest excuse if the husband was asked if he still invites her wife to go on dates. Marriage is a life long discovery of who you are and an excitement avenue to know who your partner is. Best foot forward is what one another deserve after marriage. Mistakes during BF-GF times should be corrected by the parties themselves before marriage. Individual growth determines relationship’s disposition.

5. Marriage (for me) should not be give-and-take, it should be sharing one another’s completeness– I personally do not find it sweet if a guy uttered words like “You complete me”. It terrifies me! A matured person who decides to get married knows what he wants, knows what he has, and has prepared himself to be complete (on his own standards) before entering into a life-long relationship. You don’t get married to completely obtain whatever your partner has. Taking the investment of your partner for herself, consumes her as an individual. Consumption is draining her. If you fail after taking what she has, how can you recover? If you don’t invest on yourself, you assume that you can still get something from her and she already got nothing, where can you pick yourself at? Sharing is dividing, allocating, apportioning. Meaning, if you need a pie, I can give you 3/8 of the pie, but not the whole pie. Is this being selfish? I don’t think so! As you need a pie, I gave you a portion of the pie. Is it wrong to reserve extra pie for my future use? Definitely not. You love him but you MUST also love yourself. Because after all, how can you expect love if you don’t know how to love yourself, to begin with.