After Dark

I've seen him running.. perspiring.. hidding from the dark. I saw him paranoid that someone might've seen him.. someone might've noticed him. He looks everywhere..he glances on one corner to the other. He thought he can keep it. He thought he can escape from it. He thought I wouldn't know.

It slipped out of his tongue. In his desire to share stories, word per word spilled out of his pail. Sewing statement per statement.. connecting a story from another..it made me realize who he was and what he is now. He was weak.. He is coward.

I began asking him questions that will put him back to the cold- obscure corner of his trauma. He was afraid that I would know. He thought I would dump him if I discover. Whenever I ask him piling questions, he gets upset. He goes back to the result of his addiction. He gets to hurt himself again. He gets to destroy his haven again. He goes back to looking dirty. He goes back to being weak. He prefer not to talk about it. He prefer no repetitive questions. He prefer to keep other details. He prefer to live only for today and tomorrow.

How would I be able to reach out to you if you don't patiently help me to? How would I be able to understand you if you hinder me from doing so? How would I love you more if it's you who asks me “What for?”? How would I shed light if you get yourself out of my sight?

My heart desire to fight for you. But arm me from the might that can separate myself from you. I would painfully listen. But I would gladly be enlightened. Choose to hurt me now than sacrificing the pain of tomorrow. I want you to overcome darkness. I want US to overturn sadness. There is nothing more important than forever. There is nothing I would want but you and me together. Hard as it may seem but I know nothing's difficult with HIM. Let's live a life after dark. Let's leave the PAST totally un-harked.