Dear Heart..Husband's Calvary

Dear Heart,

I received a call from my wife this morning..

We were just newly wed for almost 3 months months now. Had been in a 2-year relationship before getting married. Actually, she's even 2 months pregnant now. She was my dream girl. She's smart & independent.

..the call.. She was weeping. She told me that she received a call from a friend who told her that someone imitated her name in a networking tool and published a picture of her ex-bf and her kissing. There was even a statement quoting that she's a mistress. The picture was taken 3 years ago.

Months back, I was asking her about a politician ex-bf she had 3 years ago. She doesn't even want to tell. She kept on mentioning that “past is past” and I wasn't in her life that time-- well, basically telling me that I don't need to touch that part of her history. A bit offended, I respected her decision of keeping it to herself.

..mistress.. I was shocked. “I want to see the picture”, I insisted. She said that they called the Helpdesk of the networking medium to delete the account. I paused.. think..

She doesn't know that her politician ex-bf has a family. She was not aware that he's married. As for her, “this is something that I am not proud of”.

...breathe.. I decided not to talk to her first. I'm mad and I might say something that can hurt her more. She's pregnant but I'm furiously mad. It's not easy for a man to accept that his wife cheated on him. I want to know who they (wife and the politician) are. This problem won't end if there's no confrontation.She asked me, “Do you have any regrets of us getting married?” I said, “Do not ask me that question now.”

What am I supposed to do?

-Mr. Pride-

Dear Mr. Pride,

Love is from God and when there is good, there's evil. The devil will work double time since he knew that you're gifted with love. The devil has used past experiences and people to destroy your relationship. But think about this, would you let them win over your lives? If you'd nurse angst and revenge that would separate you more from your wife, isn't this what the devil wanted? You'd only give justice to what the detractors did. Would you accept your defeat? Would you surrender your love and faith to the power of distractions and evil?

Regarding trust and honesty, married people should share not only the present and the future, but also the past. You both need to equip one another of any experiences that might hunt you back. Commitment to the complete truth is your only weapon. Whatever it is, do not judge her for what already happened. She needs to undergo these circumstances to be a better person. Nothing in life is an accident. Everything is according to plan. It is God's plan to have your wife undergo the consequences of her former actions to develop her character. At the same time, it is also God's plan for you to experience such to overcome pride. Do not abstain yourselves in this God-given opportunity for both of you to learn. You are in pain because of pride, which is a devil's seed.

The picture was taken 4 years ago, as you said. There is no unfaithfulness. There is selective honesty. She selected the stories in her life that will be imparted to you. The details of the story were not discussed but the story was told and it was true. She didn't lie to you, she just kept other details to herself for her privacy. I'm not saying that what she did was right; but try to understand that everything has its perfect time. You can't determine her preparedness in sharing all these with you. All you need to do is to wait and to keep an open-mind about this.

You like to confront them. Would you do this to defend your wife or to satisfy your pride? This is your wife's battle. People need to learn. Do not take the bullets meant for her. Think and act WITH her, not FOR her.

Ask the Holy Spirit to broaden your understanding for her. All the more that she needs you now. God chose you to be with her, not for you to condemn her but to be supportive to her. Pride blocks acceptance. But, would pride win over love? What do you prioritize between a good and a bad seed? I suggest, help her to open things up with you. Do not invest hatred and regrets. Instead, help her to win a better person out of herself through this experience. Be with her all throughout this trial. At times like this, your vows are being tested. You'd have your own, would you like her to judge you at times you need her to believe you? You both need to pray and to ask for HIS guidance. Ask God to intervene in your married life. Ask HIM to give you the blessing of wisdom and understanding. Do not let your wife feel all alone. Let your wife know that God is with her thru you. God loves you both. Be faithful to God and battle with the devil by winning this challenge for HIS greater glory."

--HEART--